My thoughts so late at night

It is 12 am and I am still up. We had a fun night watching movies with the girls in our little hotel room. I am so blessed to have them in my life. My husband brought home popcorn for a fun night treat and now everyone is sleeping peacefully. I ask myself why am I the only one still up?? Ive been spending time on pinterest and reading about where we will be moving. I am so excited. I know it will be a huge change but none the less..i am thrilled. There is just the one thing, I wish my family was supportive and here to be excited with me. I dont get it and I can barely sleep at night thinking about it. I guess we cant always have our way. When i was in Oklahoma I had sleepless nights missing my husband. Now I have sleepless nights missing my family. Thinking if I will ever see them again and what i did to deserve this ban. This punishment. I won't let it get me down though. At times I feel like I am mourning a death. I guess that feeling should make me reach out to them but I have tried. Maybe I didnt reach out to the right person but either way the doors were closing one by one. Missing them is all I can really do now. I thank God for them and for my O'Brien family. They really are amazing and great supporters. The hardest thing in this world is to be the bigger person. To reach out to someone who has hurt you. There is so much going on in our lives, this pain was the last thing i thought i would have to worry about. Between the fear of moving, grandpa being sick, this, and now dad obrien is in the hospital. I always have to remind myself someone else has it worse and I should be thankful for what I have and that God has a plan bigger then what I could ever expect. While this blog is suppose to be about our journey as a family I apologize for writing about my journey in myself. This is all sounding like a bunch of rambling but thats what my brain feels like. Rambled up words and emotions. So let me talk about something else going on in my mind. I hope my house once we move is great. I look forward to painting and making the girls' rooms special. We went shopping before the movers took our stuff. Kaydence picked out flower themed decor for Aubrie's room and decided she wanted to have a room filled with butterflies! Purple to be precise. We look forward to making each one feel like individuals and special. Also, they have preballet that starts in November for Kaydence. I look forward to getting her in. We were hoping for gymnastics but they do not have a childrens coach yet. Cheerleading starts again after the holidays. She told me she wanted to be just like the cheerleaders cheering on her cousin Trey at his football game. "Go team go", she says. Kindergarten should start soon as well. Sean is excited to start a new job. He looks pretty good looking in his polos and kahkis he gets to wear to work now. It feels good to see him excited and happy to get up and go to work. I hope that feeling continues when he gets to his next job. With his surgeries the past few years have been rough on him. It has set him back from promoting to sgt and training like he wanted to. He seems so happy when he talks about how fast or far he ran this time or that time. I love to see him happy and smiling. Makes me feel happy. Aubrie is still being stubborn. I think this moving around from family to hotels is having a bigger affect on her then I thought it would. Kaydence handled moving around so well. Aubrie still hasnt started walking. She can stand for minutes at a time until she realizes she is doing it. I don't know if its the feel of losing us if she doesnt need us to get from place to place or what. She walks while holding her hand but the moment you let go its game over. We are still working with her though and encouraging every step and every time she stands without anything or anyone. I think we will be putting her in daycare a few hours a week. She needs the time with other children. It will help her improve in all aspects. I hope once we have a home she starts sleeping alone again. It is hard to explain to one child that she cant sleep with mommy and daddy and expect her to understand when the other needs to or none of us sleep. As for me..well I think I explained my excitment and worries already. I hope to find a job once we gotten settled. I want a good one though with the housing office or school so I get off when the kids and husband do. I've been thinking of trips to take etc. There is a frankensteins castle halloween kids day on kaydence's birthday. PRaying we can make it to that. I think it will be a wonderful first trip. Sean wants to go to Ireland sometime as well for St. pattys day. I think that will be a blast. So many places to see and things to do. We are blessed. Goodnight :)